That evening, we got all dressed up and headed to the restaurant. The closer we got, however, we noticed we were in a very dark and dilapidated part of town. There were no cars around us, no people walking the streets, and under the cover of night, it was almost impossible to find the sign for the plaza. We finally did but wondered what kind of place our friends had chosen. As we walked toward the plaza, I held on tight to my husband’s strong arm and he tried not to show how nervous he really was to be in such a strange place.

We looked for the restaurant but could not find it, so we went into the only place in the plaza that looked open—a liquor store. “Great,” I whispered. “They invited us to a liquor store!” We asked the attendant if he knew where this mysterious restaurant was and without a word, he pointed us to an old wooden door in the back of the store. My heart was pounding as we approached the rickety old door surrounded by empty beer bottles and discarded boxes. “What if we had been set up for a crime?” I know… I’m dramatic!

Brian went to turn the knob but it was locked. So he knocked. Once, twice, three times… until a rugged-looking man opened a small window on the door. In a threatening voice, he said, “What’s the code?” “What code?” we asked. Looking at us dismissively, he slowly closed the little window. We were puzzled and dumb-founded as we stood there staring at the floor. A few seconds later we remembered what our friends had told us, “When you get there, ask for Joe.” So we got the courage to knock again. The little window opened, and the same man barked, “What’s the code?” Sheepishly, Brian asked, “Is Joe here?”

At once, his demeanor changed and he swung the old door open to let us in. As soon as we took the first step, we entered a completely different world! Waiters dressed up in tuxedoes, chandeliers illuminating elegantly decorated walls, beautiful classical music being played by a live quartet, and our smiling friends waiting for us at a candle-lit table. Needless to say, it was a wonderful evening of laughter, great food and unforgettable memories. After we said our last goodbyes, I thought to myself, “What if we had given up on finding this place?” We would have never experienced the sights, the sounds, the great service, and of course, that amazing prime rib we ate down to the last bite! Joe’s Place was so worth our trouble!

Today’s verse tells us: “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it (Matthew 7:13-14, NLT).

It isn’t that the narrow gate to the kingdom is reserved for a privileged few. It’s that most people settle for the easy road to the easy gate. But easy does not get us anywhere worthwhile does it? A Big Mac at McDonalds up the road would have been easy and safe that night—but not worthwhile.

Today, you might feel very lonely on that dark narrow road God has placed you in while you look at the masses filing happily into the broad and attractive gate. Whatever you do, don’t go that way!

After all the trials you have been through you may ask, “What is the kingdom, after all? Is it worth my time, my sweat, and my tears? Right now it sure feels like a fairy tale. I need solutions now!” Romans 14:17 tells us, “For God’s Kingdom is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of the righteousness, peace, and joy which the Holy Spirit gives” (GNT). If you look for the easy way out, you’ll get temporary relief, but your problems will still be there tomorrow, won’t they?

The kingdom of God is not somewhere hidden in eternity. It’s here. It’s now. It’s just not the easiest place to find. But when you find it in your circumstances, in your pain, in your fear, it is so worth your trouble! The way there may require drastic changes in your lifestyle. It may demand walking all alone. But at the end of the day, if you choose the narrow path you get what very few get—right living, peace and joy.

So whatever difficult decision God is asking you to make today, go ahead, bite the bullet. However lonely that path is, walk on. I bet you can see that old wooden door at the end of the road, can’t you? Once you get there, just ask, ‘Is Joe here?’ The door will open and you’ll be so happy you stayed the course!

Things are so bad we just want to stay home! We go to work, do some errands, get our entertainment in and yes, we go to church on Sunday. When prayer is offered up for the city during service, sound bytes of negative media replay furiously in our minds. We pray, but we don’t want to… after all, “they’re ‘bad people’. They are getting what they deserve. Instead of being here at church, they’re out there selling drugs, getting drunk and killing each other. It’s Sodom and Gomorrah out there!”

But just when we don’t care anymore, Sodom and Gomorrah come knocking at our door. And when that happens, Sodom becomes so personal! That is just what happened to rich old Abraham in Genesis 14. He was minding his own business and looking after his vast wealth when the news came in.

‘The four kings captured all the possessions of Sodom and Gomorrah, all their food and equipment, and went on their way. They captured Lot, Abram’s nephew who was living in Sodom at the time, taking everything he owned with them. A fugitive came and reported to Abram the Hebrew.’ (Genesis 14:11-13, MSG)

The invaders had taken all of Sodom’s goods, food and most importantly something that really mattered to Abraham—his only nephew.

Without hesitating, Abraham took the 318 fighting men he had trained for war and went out to save Lot. The story has a great ending. Abraham recovers all the stolen goods and brings Lot home. But that’s not all. He also rescues the ‘women and the other people’ (Genesis 14:16) taken captive by the four kings. What a newsflash! Those ‘other people were somebody’s nephews, nieces, brothers, sisters, and wives! If he hadn’t come, they would have all died.

At home, they were just statistics on the news. In the tar pits and the valley, alongside his nephew, they were terrified souls about to die at the hands of a foreign enemy. Abraham needed to see that for himself. We need to see that for ourselves. And sometimes we don’t see it unless Sodom comes knocking on our door. How sad.

Instead of waiting for a knock that hits up close and personal, why not see our city for what it really is—a large group of people (that include our family members) in need of help and love? Sure, bad things are happening out there while we lounge comfortably and catch up on our Bible reading. Let’s not wait until Sodom comes knocking. Let’s get out there and fight for our own as well as for everyone’s son and daughter. We’re all in this together! Get a heart for Sodom.

For all the accusations that could be leveled against the devil in the case of the fall of man, lying is not one of them—at least not outright lying. Everything he told Eve about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was actually true! You don’t believe me? Let’s go to Scripture then.

Adam and Eve did not INSTANTLY die, even though God told them they would if they even touched the tree. He could have killed them, but in His mercy He did not. The devil knew He was a merciful God.

Genesis 3:7 tells us, ‘Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked. Once again, the devil had told the truth. What about them becoming like God? In Genesis 3:22, God himself says, ‘The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil.’ The fruit had bestowed on them an aspect of the divine nature just like the devil had predicted. Since he told the truth, why was it wrong to follow his advice? I’m so glad you asked!

Even though everything he said was true, he did not tell the whole truth. You see, even when the devil tells the truth, he’s lying. He can’t help himself! He’s the Father of lies (John 8:44). The whole truth is found in God’s instructions to Adam and Eve prior to that fateful conversation with the devil: ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die’ (Genesis 2:16-17, NIV).

With half of the truth, the devil made them forget about the other half, which said that they were free to eat of ANY tree, including the tree of life. Its fruit would cause them to live forever with God in their state of innocence. The two trees stood side by side in the middle of the garden (Genesis 2:9). They were both in Eve’s line of sight, yet listening to the devil’s version of the truth caused her to suffer from selective blindness. The devil’s strategy: Focus on the wrong tree so you forget about the right tree! All she could see was the enticing gleam of knowledge. Sadly, she forgot about the sure promise of life.

Eerily, our conversations with the devil are very similar to that first one in the garden, aren’t they? I remember how he almost convinced me to toy with sexual sin before I ever met and married Brian. He said it was fun. He said it was natural. But that wasn’t the whole truth. The whole truth was that it would be fun and natural for a bit until heartbreak hit and I was left all alone once again. The whole truth was that God had a better man in store for me and that within the confines of marriage we could have as much fun as we wanted while resting in our commitment to one another.

So what is the whole truth regarding your situation? Remember what God said before you choose the wrong half of the truth. With every temptation of the devil, there is a promise of life within your reach. Choose life.

Did King Solomon really write this proverb? That is good question, considering his infamous ‘Guinness World Record’ of 700 wives and 300 concubines. I’d say he went near the door of adultery thousands of times every year.

One thing is for sure. Solomon knew what he was talking about when he warned us about adultery and immorality. He had first-hand experience with the heart-wrenching pain that comes with sexual sin. It cost him his relationship with God, his peace, his strength, and his kingdom.

David Guzik sheds light on the effect that immorality had on Solomon: ‘Because of lust, Solomon found himself in a place where he never thought he would find himself. He found himself burning incense at the altars of depraved pagan gods. He found himself at the altar of child sacrifice unto the god Molech. This is the power of lust – it can capture us in a spell, in a fog of spiritual confusion until we do things we never thought we would do.’

So how do we avoid Solomon’s sin and ultimate fate? By following the advice he never took for himself! The key phrase in Proverbs 5:8 is ‘keep to a path far from her.’ That word path denotes a direction, a journey, a course of life. Think of God’s path as the highway and immorality as the nearest exit off the highway. The Bible tells us to get a direction, a goal for our lives and follow it until the end. We will never run into adultery on the highway to God, but we can always choose to take the exit that will lead us there:

One phone call
A friendly lunch
A leisurely click of the mouse
An entertaining fantasy

Once you get near the door of immorality, it will cease you by the collar and will not let you go. You’ll end up doing things you never thought you were capable of doing. That is why King Solomon says, ‘Do not go near the door of her house.’ That’s where it starts. That’s where it ends. It’s simple. Stay on a path far from immorality and it will stay far away from you.

Not much is known about Jesus’ adoptive father, Joseph, but what has been recorded is nothing less than fascinating. We know from Mark 6:3 that people knew him as a carpenter. ‘Nothing amazing about that,’ you might think. Carpenters in New Testament times were blue-collar construction workers who earned average wages and lived a simple life. People did not think much of Joseph. In fact, people did not respect Jesus because he was the son of a poor carpenter—that much is obvious from Matthew 13:54-58.

People’s opinion of Joseph would not define him in the long run however. In fact, when introducing Joseph, the Bible glosses over his trade and describes him as a just man (Matthew 1:19, NKJV). And that is where the supernatural record of Joseph’s life begins. Because he was a just man assigned a heavy responsibility, God begins to personally guide him in the new task of parenthood.

In Matthew 1:20-24 an angel tells him in a dream to take Mary as his wife and assume responsibility for Jesus. Then in Matthew 2:13 another angel warns him to flee to Egypt and keep Jesus safe from the murderous plans of King Herod. Yet again in Matthew 2:19-23, Joseph is supernaturally instructed to move his family to Nazareth, where Jesus would spend the early years of his life. Time after time, Joseph relies on supernatural guidance to be a good father.

Today you may be working 9 to 5 as a construction worker, a secretary or a car salesman. All those hours at work seem worth it when you get to tuck your children safely into bed at night. You pray in the darkness that God would protect them from evil and yet you wonder if He’s listening.

People may see the hands made rough by your labor and despise you but God sees your heart and will reward you with the greatest gift of all—His friendship. Down here you may be known as one more blue-collar worker, but up there you are known as the friend of God! Don’t worry about your children, your provision or your future. Being the friend of God means that He shares his secrets with you and guides you along the right path for your family. So tonight, as you pray for your children one more time, rest assured in the fact that you are not alone in this thing called parenting. God is listening. He will speak. You just rest.

‘For the Lord detests the perverse 
but takes the upright into his confidence’ (Proverbs 3:32 , NIV).

After all the hard work of creation, God decided to take a day off. No creating was done on that day. No planets came into being, no new species took shape, and thankfully, no new bugs had a chance at life. God rested. He threw his arms behind his head, laid on a hammock of ferns and just enjoyed the view. Everything on that day was good. Everything brought a smile to his face. It certainly was a day for the books.

God enjoyed it so much that he decided to make it an official holiday to be celebrated on a weekly basis! Think about it… In the United States we have 11 official holidays, but if it were up to God, we would have an additional 52 paid holidays a year! Talk about a chill God! He knows the benefits of rest firsthand and wants us to get as much rest as we can in a year.

Rest reminds us that our work is worth celebrating, and doing so regularly affects our joy quotient. How come we don’t take advantage of our God-given holiday then?

The etymology of the word holiday is interesting. The word derives its meaning from the idea of a HOLY DAY, much like the one God instituted in Genesis 2:2. The seventh day, known as the Sabbath, was to be a holy day – a day set apart from all the others to rest from our work and celebrate God’s goodness. That is a far cry from our idea of a holiday, isn’t it? Most holidays today are either opportunities for inebriation or more work and more money. Both choices steal the blessings of rest if you ask me.

You see, God not only instituted a day of rest, but he blessed it as well! There is a blessing on the Sabbath when celebrated the right way. When our Sabbaths go from holidays filled with partying or more work to HOLY DAYS, we will enjoy the blessings that made God memorialize his day of rest. I encourage you to make your seventh day one to remember! Rest. Enjoy the work of your hands. Be blessed!

‘May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
 establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands’ (Psalm 90:17, NIV)

It is so fitting to start the year off by reading Genesis 1, don’t you think? It is not only the beginning of the universe as we know it, but also the story of every beginning, including that of a new year.

Every year is a mystery. It comes enshrouded in darkness for we can’t yet see what the future holds. For some people the idea of a new year is too much to bear. Sorrow, worry, disappointment and fear overwhelm those who only see the darkness of an uncertain future. But for those of us who know Christ, we know that such uncertainty is only the genesis of God’s master plan for our year.

You see, one word from God changes everything! The world was dark and empty before God spoke, but once he opened his mouth, nothing was ever the same. Into the thick darkness of the earth he said, “Let there be light,” and there was light! Now he could begin the creating process. Soon animals, trees, plants, water, sky, stars, and planets would come to life… but it all started with one word from God.

At the onset of this new year, don’t focus on the darkness, the emptiness or even the uncertainty you may feel inside. Wait for a word from God. Sit quietly before him in thanksgiving and prayer until he speaks into your situation, ‘Let there be light!’ When he does speak, the light will shine and the creating process will begin.

God has great things in store for you this year. Let him lead in 2012. Let him speak direction and wisdom before you take on the next 365 days. Think about it… If one word from God was enough to create the universe that surrounds us, won’t a word from him be sufficient to guide you into victory this year?

‘By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path’ (Psalm 119:105, MSG).

3. Personalize recognition

Steve Farber, an accomplished public speaker and trainer once received a thank you note. What was different from the ones he received every time he taught was that this one was addressed to his son:
To Steve’s son:

I understand that you are curious about what your dad does when his job takes him away from home. I’ll be it’s tough on you sometimes to have him away when you’d like to have him home more than he is….

Your dad helps people to make their lives better and happier. And he teaches all this in a fun way so that the time we spend with him in class is really enjoyable.

I just wanted you to know what we really appreciate your sharing him this week, and if he’s anywhere near as good or as fun as a father as he is a teacher, you’ve got yourself one fine dad.’

Carl English

One of your dad’s students

Carl could have bought a regular thank you card and sent it to Steve. But he PAID ATTENTION and personalized his recognition. He heard that Steve had a son that was curious about what his dad did. He went the extra mile to recognize his teacher.

If a child has gone beyond the call of duty to accomplish a goal, then it behooves you as his/her teacher to go the extra mile to find out what would make him/her feel the most honor when you recognize him/her.

What are his favorite colors? What is the most meaningful to him? Should you invite her family to be present when you recognize her?

Every time you plan to recognize a child, ask yourself, ‘What can I do to make this special, dramatic, and unique for this child?’

Pay attention to your prizes – is this something Sally would appreciate? Is this prize something John will treasure?

Newsletter – put pictures of kids. Recognize them for everyone to see.

So ask yourselves this question:

How can you do a better job at finding out what honors children and personalizing their recognition?

4. Celebrate Together

‘Celebrations touch our hearts and fire our imaginations, bonding people together and connecting us to shared myths and values.’ Terrence E. Deal and M.K. Key

Every culture has a ritual of celebration. It is an innate need in the soul of man. Think about our year – Every month or two, we celebrate together as a nation – Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, thanksgiving and Christmas. These celebrations are the glue that hold our nation together.

Every celebration has a dual purpose. We celebrate because we know celebration makes people happier and boosts their performance. The other side of celebration is to recognize an individual or group for upholding a cherished standard. 4^th of July: Fireworks, bbq’s – remember principles of freedom and those who died to give it to us.

In addition to school-mandated celebrations, create your own celebrations. Go beyond the usual pizza party and create celebrations that reach the heart of your children:

Visit places that are known to be fun places to work at…

Study people and organizations that celebrate others well – study their enthusiasm and energy.

Put up a bragging board in your classroom

‘I heard something good about your child’ notes to give to parents

Don’t wait until the test results are in. Celebrate kids’ efforts in the progress.

The motto of the organization I lead is ‘Celebrating Life Together.’ One of the things we do as a body is to celebrate our volunteers on a monthly basis. We call our volunteer base, the DREAM TEAM. We take a few hours every month to celebrate our volunteers with a party of some kind – sometimes it is a very fancy and expensive meal. All the leaders serve the volunteers. Other times, we get together over desert and coffee and my husband and I make sure we go to every volunteer, shake their hand and tell them how grateful we are about their contribution. We verbally thank outstanding volunteers and fire them up about our plans for the future.

By making achievements public, you encourage the person being recognized and the hearts of those who witness the award.

What can you celebrate:

New curriculum, losing a tooth, good grades, kindness in action, birthdays, forgiveness, accomplishment of a short-term goal, individual accomplishments, grief over a lost loved one, return from vacation, telling the truth, refusing to cheat, etc.

Ask yourself this question:

How often do I celebrate children’s accomplishments? Is it often enough?

1. Set clear standards
2. Expect the best
3. Pay attention
4. Personalize Recognition
5. Tell the Story
6. Celebrate Together
7. Set the Example

Because of time constraints, I want to focus on two of those essentials in this blog posting:

1. Set clear standards
2. Pay attention

SET CLEAR STANDARDS:

In January, 2010 I taught a class on Curriculum Design to a group of 28 students. One of my jobs was to visit my students in the centers they worked in and observe their teaching for 30 minutes. In four months I visited centers all over the city. Some were in areas that I knew like the palm of my hand, and yet others were in areas I had never been to before. But I had a great ally! My GPS device. I would simply type in the address of the center, and I would leave my house. Step by step it would tell me where to turn, what to do, until I reached my destination. My GPS system took the stress out of navigating the city.

Children have enough vagueness and stress to deal with at home. In order to create a culture of celebration in the classroom, we must make our standards and goals crystal clear to them. These standards can’t be just any standards – they have to be inspirational and bring out the best in our kids.

They have to be SMART standards: Specific, measurable, attainable, results-oriented, and time-bound.

Ask yourself – what’s my vision for this class? What strategy are we going to use? What is required of every individual? And find creative ways to communicate the answers to these questions to your children. POST YOUR VALUES IN VISIBLE PLACES.

Another way of communicating clear standards is by celebrating children who actually reach them!

When a child reaches one of your goals in a big or small way, recognize him for his accomplishment. By doing that publicly, you are sending a clear message to the rest of the children: ‘This is what’s important around here. This is what we value.’ Kids will clearly understand the standards they must live up to.

EXCEPTIONAL ASSIGNMENTS AT CNM, I am careful to go through the goals and objectives of every class throughout the semester. But somehow as soon as I REFER to the syllabus, students immediately lose focus and get overwhelmed, so I take a different approach.

Not every time, but when someone’s assignment is exceptional and has met a class objective or one of my values, I give them more that 100% and make sure everyone knows about it. I pass out the homework and keep the exceptional ones for the very end and tell everyone they need to look at this assignment if they want to know how to get an A in my class. I talk about their grammar, their organization, their attention to detail and their mastery of the content.

Every single time I have done this, I notice that not only does this inspire others to do their best, but the person who gets recognized never goes below that benchmark he/she set!

Take a minute now and answer this question:

What are the standards/values that I believe should guide my daily decisions and actions and those of the children I teach? How do I let children know when they have succeeded at attaining those standards?

1. 2. Pay Attention

How many of you feel like you do not have enough hours in the day to do your job?

I feel the same way on Sundays! You see, besides my job as an instructor at CNM, I also pastor Passion Church alongside my husband. We are what is called a ‘PORTABLE’ church. We meet at a local high school and every Sunday we transform the performing arts center into our church, complete with a full band, hospitality center and yes, children’s classrooms. Every Sunday, there are emergencies to take care of, volunteers that never make it, supplies that are forgotten at home, and difficulties to overcome wherever I go.

Recently, as usual, I was making my rounds during set-up time trying to make sure that the children’s classrooms were being set up properly. I walked into the infant area and there kneeling on the floor was this 14-year old. She was busy putting together the flooring we provide for the kids to crawl on. I was surprised because I did not think she was on setup duty, so I asked, ‘Lilly, are you in set-up duty?’ ‘No, she replied, but I want to help.’ It floored me! And of course, I thanked her profusely and let her know how much it meant to me that she would do this without being asked.

See, you don’t have to set aside time to PAY attention to people doing the right things at your centers. You simply have to PAY attention as you do your job. I could have missed an opportunity to see real servanthood at work if I had not walked into that classroom, and most importantly, if I hadn’t been curious about her being there.

Later that morning, I made sure everyone knew what had happened earlier and how grateful I was for Lilly and for people like her in our church who served and loved serving.

Psychologist Julius Segal, in looking at what helps children overcome adversity, wrote that “one factor turns out to be the presence in their lives of a charismatic adult — a person from whom they gather strength. And in a surprising number of cases, that person turns out to be a teacher.”

Similarly, a Massachusetts Department of Education report about at-risk students noted, “Possible the most critical element to success within school is a student developing a close and nurturing relationship with at least one caring adult. Students need to feel that there is someone within school whom they know, to whom they can turn, and who will act as an advocate for them.”

So the next time you are doing your rounds – be CURIOUS, pay attention and you will marvel at what you find!

Don’t be so set on catching people doing the wrong thing – focus on those doing the right thing and reward them!

Take a notebook to recess duty and write down instances of your kids doing the right things. Include as many details as possible and make time during your class time to recognize that person privatel or publicly.

Take note of the gifts your children appreciate. Some likle public recognition, others like private commendation. Some like certificates, others like toys, etc.

The next time you hear a student talk about himself, listen with your eyes and heart as well as with your ears.

Ask the kids how you’re doing at encouraging them on a daily basis. This is scary but very helpful.

Take a minute and answer this question:

How specifically do you pay attention to the positive things your students are accomplishing?

She didn’t move away. She didn’t die. She just walked away from our friendship! We were good friends. In fact, best friends! We did everything together. She knew everything about me, my kids knew her really well, and my husband was used to seeing her around all the time. She had fridge rights, if you know what I mean! We were close…

Our friendship lasted for 30 years almost to the day! That’s remarkable considering I moved countries, changed languages, adjusted to a new culture and live a different life than she and I were used to as kids. She was such a good friend that she left everything behind to be with me. She’s been there in the good times, but mostly in the sad times. She’s wiped away my tears and held me as I tried to regain strength to keep living.

I could say the end of our friendship was all her fault, but it wasn’t. I could say I didn’t see it coming, but I did.

It started a few months ago. Friends and family began hinting at the unhealthy level of influence she had over me. I didn’t pay much attention to their observations until God spoke to me and said, ‘As long as you hold on to her I will never be able to fully hold on to you.’

I heard the words behind his words – ‘It’s her or me. You choose.’ Needless to say I started putting distance between us. I know, I know, I should’ve ended it right then and there, but it took me a while.

When she called and asked if she could come over for morning coffee and devotions, I said, ‘Not today.’ She reminded me of our tradition and tried to convince me to let her come over, but I didn’t give in.

I was elated to find out that my devotions were so much more precious and productive without her there. No distractions, no tangents, just God and me! I had never been able to actually memorize large portions of Scripture, but now I was doing just that! Since I had no one to talk to as I prayed, I actually listened to God and journaled as he spoke so candidly about life with him and our future together. She kept calling, but it got easier and easier to say no.

When she came by unexpected to a family event, I set clear boundaries and asked for privacy. I know it was harsh, but I should have done that a long time ago. My kids loved it because they had my full attention and I even got silly and played with them. Quite the change, if you knew me…

The worst was when she showed up at the restaurant during my date night just to remind me of something I had forgotten to do. Talk about a stalker right? Brian was furious, and so was I. She sat next to me, didn’t even acknowledge my husband who was about to share a bite of his food with me and started ripping me apart. Thankfully, she is a very discrete person, so nobody heard her vicious whispers but me!

I had reached my limit. As she spewed out venom and told me how ridiculous it was for me to enjoy date night while things fell apart at work, I stopped her mid-sentence, put my hand in front of her face, (oh no you didn’t… oh yes, I did!) and said, ‘This is the last time you speak to me this way. In fact, this is the last time we speak at all. Find a new friend. Find a life and let me live mine.’

Brian was speechless… imagine that! He’d been telling me to do that ever since we got married. I was shocked that I had actually uttered those final words. My friend’s voice grew smaller and smaller as her eyes grew bigger and bigger, and tears streamed down her face.

After about thirty seconds of her sulking, me staring, and Brian smiling, she pushed her chair back, stood up quietly and simply walked away.

That was three weeks ago. I guess that marked the end of our 30-year friendship. I haven’t seen her. I haven’t heard from her. I haven’t even given her a thought until now. I assumed she would be back, but this time she finally got the message.

I still have sad times and even painful times. But I am not holding onto her anymore. God’s holding onto me and that has made all the difference. Sadness does not overwhelm me anymore. Darkness doesn’t keep me from seeing the light of hope anymore. He’s holding me… and I’m just resting, nestled safely in His arms.

I could say I miss her, but I would be lying. I love my life without her! I love who I have become in these last few weeks – full of life, full of joy, full of God.

My friend GUILT has left the building. My friend GOD has moved in!

Some of us may never admit we have engaged in intimate friendship with guilt, but at one point or another, we all do. Guilt has our ear, our trust, and our devotion, while it moves into our homes and wreaks havoc on our minds, hearts, and relationships. In my case, guilt was my friend until I realized that bad company corrupts character and that I could go from guilt to God. Today, choose to walk away from a toxic friendship with guilt and into the loving arms of the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set yout free from the law of sin and death.’ Romans 8:1-2